How Letting Go of False Hope Led To Expansion

Welcome to Sacred Musings, a space where I share reflections from the heart on love, life, caregiving, and the lessons that shape us into who we are. My hope is that these words bring comfort, perspective, and inspiration to anyone walking their own path of healing and growth.

There’s a certain kind of hope that doesn’t serve us. It disguises itself as love, as destiny, as intuition but at its core, it’s just fear wearing a prettier outfit. For years, I held on to that kind of hope.

I met someone in 2016, and from the very beginning, I just knew. There was a spark, a deep connection, and more passion than I’d ever felt before. Life, of course, had other plans. I went away for five years. You’d think that would be enough time to forget someone, to move on. But no he stayed lodged in my mind like a splinter I could not dig out.

During those years, I didn’t just pass time I lived. I went back to school (twice), bought and sold a home, entered and left a relationship, healed myself from multiple chronic illnesses, and even helped bring my son back from the edge of death. I climbed mountains, both literal and metaphorical. And still… he lingered.

So when I was on a travel nursing assignment and stumbled across one of his properties online while searching for housing, his actual rental listing, I took it as a sign. Maybe now was the time. Maybe we could finally see each other clearly. I reached out. We started talking. And that’s when the real unraveling began.

What followed was a psychological cat-and-mouse game. I felt like a mouse caught in his jaws alive, squirming, slowly being toyed with. He knew I loved him. And he toyed with that knowledge, giving just enough to keep me hopeful and just little enough to keep me powerless. The emotional high-wire act nearly broke me.

But here’s the twist: what I thought was a cosmic reconnection was actually a cosmic redirection. I didn’t end up renting his place. I ended up moving in with a brilliant woman in one of the most affluent areas in the Bay Area. She and her husband opened their home to me, and she this powerhouse in tech and business became an unexpected guide. She didn’t coddle me. She didn’t try to “fix” me. She simply stood on solid ground and offered tools for me to find my own footing.

She mirrored something I’d needed all along: strength without control, support without strings, wisdom without judgment. I spent the next year deep in the work real work. Shadow work. Inner child work. Trauma work. Facing my illusions. Grieving the fantasy. Accepting the hard, liberating truth: he’s never coming.

But here’s the magic in that truth: I am free. Free to go where I want. Free to create my life. Free to stop looking back. And the moment I fully accepted that no more waiting, no more bargaining, no more fantasy the universe responded. The very next day, a colleague called me with an opportunity that doubled my income. Doubled. It was like a door flung open the second I shut the one that was never going to open for me. It was confirmation that clarity no matter how painful always leads to power.

False hope keeps us broke, stuck, sick, and small. True freedom, even when it comes with heartbreak, is a portal. If you’re holding onto someone who isn’t showing up for you, if you’re still waiting for a message, a call, a sign, let me say this with love: you are the sign. Your life is the sign. Let go of the fantasy. Come home to yourself. Your freedom is waiting. And your abundance is right behind it.