Running From, Running Toward
Welcome to Sacred Musings, a space where I share reflections from the heart on love, life, caregiving, and the lessons that shape us into who we are. My hope is that these words bring comfort, perspective, and inspiration to anyone walking their own path of healing and growth.
Lately, I’ve been sitting with a new idea I heard in a lecture by one of my favorite thought leaders, Kendall St. Charles, the idea of hers was “disadvantenza.” It’s a play on “affluenza.” Where affluenza describes the entitlement that can come from privilege, disadvantenza points to a different kind of entitlement, using disadvantage or victimhood as a shield, or even a weapon.
It made me pause. Because if I’m honest, I can see places in my life where I’ve leaned into that space and shutter at the thought of being a victim.
When Disadvantage Becomes a Story
I’ve had my share of hardships, as a single mother, as a nurse navigating broken systems, as a woman who’s lived through betrayal, illness, and financial strain. At times, it has felt natural, maybe even necessary to emphasize those struggles. They explained my exhaustion. They justified my boundaries. They reminded others that I was carrying a lot.
But there’s a shadow side. When I dwell too long on disadvantage, it can become a story of victimhood. And in that story, I wait for someone else to notice, to fix, or to make things easier. That is where disadvantenza creeps in.
When Disadvantage Becomes Fuel
Yet, just as often, I’ve flipped my hardships into fuel.
The weight I carried in my body became fuel to transform my health.
The betrayals I endured became fuel to demand love that is real and consistent.
The limits placed on me by systems became fuel to start my own businesses, to create my own opportunities.
My past has been both a propeller and a weight. It drives me forward, but sometimes I realize I’m running from instead of running toward. And running from can exhaust you, even if it gets you far.
A Question of Balance
So I’ve started asking myself:
What would it look like to let my future vision pull me, instead of letting my past push me?
How can I honor my story without staying stuck in it?
What kind of fuel do I want for the next chapter of my life?
These are not easy questions, but they are honest ones.
An Invitation
I want to leave you with some journal prompts I’ve been working with. Maybe they’ll resonate with you, too:
Where have you leaned into disadvantage as part of your identity?
When have you caught yourself “playing the victim card”?
What has it cost you?
What parts of your past feel like fuel and what feels like weight?
If you stopped running from your past, what vision of the future would be strong enough to pull you forward?
We don’t always get to choose what life hands us. But we do get to choose whether we stay in disadvantenza, or whether we alchemize it into growth, power, and freedom.
And that choice, day after day, is where our truest strength lives.
Sacred Musings is my space to reflect on life, love, and the spiritual lessons that come with being human. Thank you for walking this path with me.